Army gathering...

[brian]

UPM spy planes have found that near the Western Romanian border with Serbia, there has been an army gathering, consisting of one infantry division, an assortment of helicopters, a tank column, and some anti-infantry reconnaissance vehicles. More troops are streaming in by the day. The UPM is unsure of the use of this army, but it seems to be in training, for there is a well-established base. It is still unknown whether they are planning an attack on the UPM, or the army will be used for defence of Romania.

[brian]

A messenger runs into Oszcar's tent. He begins to say, panting, "General Oszcar! Orders from the President! He wants you to capture Budjak!"
General Ozscar gets up slowly and grabs the megaphone on the table in the far corner of the tent.
Oszcar: "I will assemble the army and begin marching for Budjak immediately. Thank you for this important peice of information.
Oszcar walks out of the tent and yells into his megaphone "Stop what you are doing, everyone in this camp. We are done training, and we mobolize for Budjak tomorrow. Gather your supplies, for we have battle in our near future!"
Oszcar goes back into his tent, and picks up his phone and calls the President of Romania. "Sir, this fort is yours, for we no longer need it. Use it as you will.
As the sun rises, Oszcar walks outside his tent to find that his forces are assembled. Once again through his megaphone he yells "We march for Budjak. Soon, you will all have a taste of battle, as we shall find that there is many enemies when you get away from the safety of your camp."
Cheering erupts from his forces.
A general asks "Shall I fetch your Humvee?"
Oszcar: "No. I shall march with my forces, for it shall help keep their morale high."

[brian]

On the front lines
Soldier 1: Look! I think that is the city we shall conquer!
Soldier 2: Yes! I think you are right!
In the back of the regiment
General: Oszcar! Orders from the President!
Oszcar: Well, spit it out.
General: As with the recent surrender of Poland, he wants you to turn back and defend the recently opened flank.
On the front lines
Soldier 1: Finally. I am tired of marching.
Soldier 2: We shall finally have a chance to rest our feet.
They hear Oszcar's voice over the megaphone.
Oszcar: Our ally, Poland, has recently surrendered, and we mush turn back, for we are now fighting a war on yet another front.
Soldier 1 grumbles.
Soldier 2: I was looking forward to finally having some action.
Soldier 1: More marching! This is ridiculous!
On a hill outside of the city
Spy 1: The listening device is ready.
Spy 2: Now we shall know exactly what their generals are saying, and we can predict what they will do next.
A voice comes out of the machine.
UPM General: What? Where did this army come from?
UPM General dials a number on his telephone
UPM General: Sir! I need backup! There is an army outside of the city, and it looks ready to attack!
Spy 1: I cannot hear what the person on the phone is saying.
Spy 2: Shh!!
A voice comes in over the radio
Oszcar: We are needed on the Polish border, for they have surrendered. We are going to turn back, but I want you to stay and gather intelligence.
Spy 1: Yes, sir.
A voice onece again comes out of the machine
UPM General: What? It seems as they are turning around! Captain! Send a force to follow them! Empty the city exept a few guards. They shall never expect an attack.
Spy 1: We have to tell the general of this!
He picks up the radio.
Spy 1: Oszcar! They are sending out a force to attack you! They are emptying the whole city!
Back with the regiment
Oszcar: Keep marching towards Poland. At the last second, I want to surprise them by being ready to fight.
General: This is suicide. They will be upon us in no time, and we will be defenseless!
Oszcar: Believe me, this will work.
Oszcar picks up the megaphone
Oszcar: Defensive positions! Everyone, get in defensive positions!
On the front lines
Soldier 1: It looks like we will get some action, after all.
Soldier 2: Finally.
On the hill
UPM General: They are assembling in what seems to be defensive positions! How did they know? They must be spying on us right now! Find the spies, and bring them back to me.
Officer: Right away, sir, but what about the attack? Do you want to call it off?
UPM General: No. I will crush every last soldier in that army.
Spy 1: Oszcar, they know we are here!
Oszcar: Stay there, I will send you backup.
Spy 1: Sir, yes sir!
On the front lines
Soldier 1: They are attacking!
He starts firing his gun.
Soldier 2: Got one!
Soldier 1: I'm hit!
Soldier 2: Man down, I repeat, man down!
A medic comes in and drags Soldier 1 away.
Soldier 2: He was my brother! You will pay for this, UPM!
On the hill, with the spies
UPM General: Send in the tanks. These infantry will be hopeless against our state-of-the-art tanks.
Commander: I'm on my way, sir!
UPM General laughs.
Spy 1: Oszcar! They are sending in their tanks!
Oszcar: Do not worry. I have a little surprise for them.
In the back of the regiment
Oszcar: Ready the long-range anti tank missiles
Commander: Missiles are ready and locked on target, sir!
Oszcar: FIRE!!
In the UPM tank division
Tank commander: It is raining missiles! Where did they come from?? There are no vehicles in the entire regiment, and they have no air support!
Explosions erupt everywhere.
On the hill
UPM General: What?? This can't be happening! My entire tank force has been obliterated! He picks up a radio. All forces, retreat! I repeat, retreat!
Spy 1: Looks like we won this one.
On the front lines
Soldier 2: Yeah!! We beat 'em!
Soldier 3: But look at all these casualties. Looks like we lost quite a few good men.
They hear a megaphone
Oszcar: Advance, and capture the city!
Soldier 2: Looks like this isn't over yet.
Lots of soldiers: CHARGE!!!!!
In the back of the regiment
Oszcar: The spies said that the whole city has been emptied. Looks like I can have my cake and eat it too.
On the front lines
Soldier 2: Hey, there's hardly even anyone guarding this place!
Soldier 3: This building looks important. Lets check it out.
Soldiers 2 and 3, and some other soldiers, go inside the building.
Soldier 2: Guards! Throw a grenade at 'em.
Soldier 3 pulls the pin.
Soldier 3: One, two, three.
He throws the grenade. Screams of pain can be heard.
Soldier 3: Looks like I got 'em. Lets go finish them off.
The soldiers rush in, finish off the guards, and bust into a room with a few commanders
Soldier 2: Surrender or die!
UPM General puts up his hands. Soldier 3 ties them behind his back.
A few hours later, in the same building
UPM General: You won this battle.
Oszcar: The city is mine. You shall be escorted back to the capital of Romania, where you shall tell all.
UPM General spits at Oszcar's feet.
Ozscar: Take this scum out of my sight.
He picks up a radio.
Oszcar: Spies, Come into the city, this land is ours now.
Oszcar: Everyone, I want 3rd Regiment to stay here, and in the morning, 1st and 2nd Regiment shall come with me, to the Polish front.
He dials yet another number.
Oszcar: Mr. President, I would like some rienforcements to guard this city. I have one regiment currently here, but I want them to come with me as soon as they can.
Oszcar presses a button on the radio.
Oszcar: I think we all deserve a good night's rest.
Commander: You can say that again.